I never told you


I love this picture of us. I need to take more of them and make a huge collage of instagram photos. It’s kind of hard to get pictures of us together with anything besides an iphone.

I really adore him. We are so alike, yet so different. We have the exact same sense of humor, love to travel and dream of doing crazy things together, and are both equally passionate about what we do. We love long walks on Town Lake with our Little, movies that “make you think”, and good beer. Yet, he’s an optimist and I’m a realist. He’s good in large groups, I prefer smaller. He’s an extrovert, I’m an introvert. We are both hospitable, but he does the cooking and talking, while I make dessert and guide conversation. He loves fishing and I love crafting. I dwell on the bad and he avoids it. He thinks logically and I think emotionally.

Why I love him and agreed to be his girl forever: He is slow to anger, quick to forgive. He is not bitter or resentful when he has to make sacrifices. He thinks of others more than himself. He listens. He comforts. He cares. He jokes when I am mad for stupid reasons. He loves to learn. He cares about the poor and needy. He admits when he’s wrong and helps me to see when I’m wrong, too. He knows what I’m good at and encourages me to use my gifts. He leads me, makes the big decisions around here and helps us use our money wisely. He gives. He is responsible and orderly. He lets me know that he needs me. He’s the kind of man I want to respect and follow, not because he’s perfect, but because he knows he’s not and knows that Jesus is.

We like to make a lot of plans together. Sometimes we talk about the future too much, but mostly, we talk about what we feel like God is calling us to do. I never told you this, but about 2 months ago, Tom got a job offer in Cairo, Egypt. We prayed and thought about it for a week or two and ultimately decided not to go. It’s pretty crazy to think that we could be leaving for Cairo next week. I think I would have been really sad there. We didn’t feel prepared, nor did we feel a lot peace about it, but sometimes it’s hard know whether that is because of our flesh or because it wasn’t God’s plan for us. I do know that it softened my heart to the thought of leaving home, maybe for a time, maybe forever. Who knows.

Adoption is another thing we dream about. I don’t think an hour goes by that I don’t think about it. I talk about it a lot and my friends are probably tired of hearing about it, but I seriously can’t stop. I was ruined the day I met these girls.

I look back on the trip to Zambia and mostly think about how immature I was at 18. The trip helped me to grow up a little bit and ultimately helped me to find freedom from my old way of living and grow into my new identity in Jesus. In some ways the trip was over-emotionalized, which makes me cringe and feel embarrassed. But mostly I was just pissed that we, the church, weren’t doing more to care for the fatherless. All I could think was that they need a place to belong where they are cherished, loved, and disciplined–a place where they can learn about Jesus through relationships that endure through the good and bad. I wanted to call them my own, just like God has done for me. Enter adoption. There are so many ways to fight for the fatherless, but I knew that adoption had to be my contribution.

Four years later, I’m married to a man who also wants to adopt. Believe me, I checked with him when we first started dating and then again a few years and arguments later, when my good looks and charm wore off ;). It’s too late to back out now, honey! I’m only kidding, but for real, we know we’re supposed to do this. We’re thinking, planning and praying about it. I honestly don’t care how much money it costs, how hard it is, how long it takes, or how crazy it makes me. The child could hate me forever and never accept my love, but there’s nothing, and I mean that, nothing I’ve wanted to do more.

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